Unsettled

As I stir from sleep and wake mine eyes, what greets me then are darker skies.
Abrupt yet silent and without warning, again I wake before the morning.
What ill fate has taken me? I cannot speak, hear, feel or see.
But then as my sense returns, My throat, mine eyes and heart they burn.
Why is my sleep and breath so short? Which demon plays with me for sport?
When I wake I cannot eat, When I dream I cannot sleep.
When I wake my words are weak, When I dream my dreams are bleak.
How long must I walk this line? This line between my thoughts and time.
How long must my soul endure, this wistful longing without cure.
Have I not all I need?! There is no room for want or greed!
So as I sit 'neath starlit sky, with the sight of dawn caught in my eye,
I humbly beg the heavens high, to reveal to me the reasons why.


Why do I stir and wake from sleep, regardless of a sleep so deep?
Why can't I wake a waking true, awakening with strength anew?
Why is it that I cannot think, my mind and thoughts obscured by Ink?
Heavens, Heavens I do implore, why am I longing from my core?
What is this I so desire? Desire so much I burn with fire?
Fire that burns my thoughts so deep, Fire that wakes me from my sleep!
Fire that excites my mind and form, like wind and lightning in a storm!
What fire is this that burns intense, and eats away my heart's defense!
My heart now bare and filled with flame, it's time I sought my fire's name.


Dearest fire hush for a while, cease your passion and beguile.
Relax your heated grasp of me, so I may ask your name of thee.
What shall I call you ardent thing? Arrowhead or Angel Wing?
Perhaps you are a Tight Embrace? A Voice, a Touch without a face?
Perhaps you are a Symphony? Or Quiet Song that sings to me?
Nay, thou art not merely one by far. All of these you simply are.


Oh Arrowhead that pierces through, and Angel's wing with veil of dew.
Arrow, Arrow bite through my bone, with you I feel I'm less alone!
Angel, Angel with thine wing, into my heart your warmness bring!
Oh Tight Embrace that holds me near, Voice and Touch that kills my Fear.
Embrace, Embrace please never end, upon your refuge I depend!
Voice and Touch you need no face, your soothing still I can't replace.
Oh Symphony that captures me, and Quiet Song that sets me free.
Symphony steal my heart once more! So your beauty I may adore!
Quiet Song, my lullaby, my earth, my sea, my sun, my sky.
With you I cannot sleep, dream, eat and think yet of your cup I long to drink!


Now at this moment I have found, the reasons why I sleep unsound.
The reasons why I've washed away, the crucial portions of my day.
For you are all I'm longing for, you are my all, my open door.
You are the food that makes me whole, you are the thoughts that speak my soul.
You are the sleep I always seek, you are the dreams I cannot keep!
You are my words that I become, you are the silence to which I succumb.
All of these you are to me! And yet away, so far you flee!
I cannot live, I cannot die, I cannot speak, I cannot Lie!
And though my heart's prison you so breach,
Thou art forever out of reach......


-Vendari

“Please... leave me not! Torment me once more, this pain it comforts me.”